I’m very mad at myself. Since I’ve been back from my grandmother’s funeral in Malaysia, I had been swamped. I had been trying to catch up with the homeworks due for the RYT program, and since I had been gone all last week for my grandma’s funeral, I had’t had time to finish my readings to complete the homework. Our apartment lease is also coming up, and we’re supposed to be moving across the border when our lease is up, so that I can fulfill my Canadian Permanent Residency requirement. I have spent all my time between homework, work and looking for apartments/houses and scheduling visits all week that I hadn’t had much time dedicated to my asana practice. I had only been to one class on Tuesday, with Elizabeth at Rising Sun per my classmate Jessica’s suggestion. The class was rather slow-paced for me, but not to say that I hadn’t learned from Elizabeth. She is indeed a great teacher and “adjuster”. On Wednesday I went to Bally for a quick run and Powerflex class. On Thurs and Fri I had been scrambling to complete Lesson 5 homework and beat myself up for not having gone to Micha’s classes on both days. It is not Saturday and I was supposed to go to Susanne’s class and I was too exhausted this morning to get up for class. I woke up slightly after class started and felt terribly guilty for not going to class. We have a full day today, looking at 12 places in Windsor from 12 to 8. Yesterday, I have created checklists to guide us through selecting the right place, printing maps online and routing our visits from one place to another. All this work made me feel extremely guilty for not going to the yoga classes but I can’t help it. Andy hadn’t done much throughout the process and our time is running out fast. Nonetheless, we did find a place that we like at the 11th hour. I hope that we get that place so that I can go on progressing with my yoga practice.
I hadn’t written much lately. My paternal grandmother passed away last Sunday (Sept 2) at 12:45 am Malaysian time and I still miss her deeply. Our whirlwind last minute trip had left us dazed and confused. We got the devastating news on our Saturday afternoon when we were in Toronto for LabourDay weekend. We had just arrived in Toronto the night before. Shortly after dinner with Andy’s parents, we drove 4+ hours back to Michigan to fly off the very next morning. We spent most of the 5 days flying (3 days flying, 2 days in KL) and driving last week, but the memories from the funeral service in KL when I was home for 2 days are still fresh on my mind. I lived with my grandma when I was little when my parents were busy making ends meet. It is very hard for me to accept that I see her just before she passed. Nonetheless, I am glad that she were there to share the great memories at our wedding back in May.
We got back on Friday morning to make it to the Yoga retreat in Vanderbilt, MI that we had paid for just the week before. I debated if I should have stayed with my family for an extra day or two instead of going to the retreat, but the thought of making up the hours for the RYT qualification stressed me out. Hence, we drove 4 hours after touching down in Michigan at 5:15am to Vanderbilt in the afternoon with 4 hours of sleep to the retreat. Nonetheless, the retreat seemed to relieve me of some grieve over the weekend. The optimism of my fellow coursemates, the serenity of the retreat, and wholesome activities planned did aid me in the course of healing.
I have been told that the Yin energy is somehow stored in the hip joints. I was doubtful until with the passing of my grandma that realized the loss of openness and flexibility in my body, particularly around the hips. I’m not too sure if sitting on the plane for a few days and 4 hours in the car caused it or not. Even so, it is now Tuesday and I am still reluctant to get back into my asana practice at the moment because of the grieve in my heart. Practicing asanas is the last thing on my mind right now, really. I guess you can call it a kind of depression, and I know I shouldn’t wallow in it. I’m going to push myself to get to a class tonight so that I continue to make progress in my practice.
Meals
(Monday)
B: Coffee
L: TJ’s Vegan Pad Thai, 2 kiwis
D: Organic Pasta Salad with Mushroom Medley and Mini Marinated Goat Cheese
(Tuesday)
B: Coffee, oatmeal
L: Last night’s pasta salad, organic banana
D: tbd
I got this description of myself courtesy of sharonyipsm, another moderator of the MalaysiaBrides forum that I am currently moderating…
I can agree to about 80% of what’s written about people like me 
Capricorn Employee Profile (december 22 – january 20) 
A Capricorn employee with too much to do is a happy worker. They need plenty of projects and responsibility. There is no sadder sight than a Capricorn worker without a sense of responsibility. They need to be needed. They are covertly ambitious – usually not flashy or obvious about it-but you will usually know that they are serious and determined about advancing themselves. They are completely scrupulous, so much so that they can be self-disparaging. But they are no pushovers. They can wear down even the toughest customers. Their persistence is incredible. Once they set their sights on a goal, they work away at it until the bitter end-whether the goal be that hard sell or the new hardware release. Capricorns don’t work for free, however. They expect to be paid handsomely and be given more and more responsibility. They need to come out ahead of the pack in the end, and they see the work environment as their primary vehicle. They won’t go in for the typical office gossip and politics, though. They want to get down to business at work and see it as no place for fooling around.. With a strong sense of duty and respect towards their superiors, it is rare they will join in on boss-bashing or knocking the system. They can get frustrated, however, with blue sky management schemes that lack common sense, and they will interject their dry sense of humor in the most critical ways. If they want change, they will be unyielding. If all their effort leads to naught the result will be deep moods of darkness and depression with a sense of hopelessness. Keep your Capricorn employee happy by paying them fairly and giving them plenty of hard work. Arrange for a path of advancement within your organization for them. If you don’t, you might find them looking for other opportunities.
Thursday, August 30
I sped to RSY today to get to the 5:45pm class who was supposed to be taught by Shawn, but to my surprise I saw Susanne there and she was subbing for Shawn. There were only 3 people at the class today and I was very excited. Susanne is such a great teacher, motivator and “adjuster” so I am glad that I showed up today and am able to get her full attention today.
I am still very sore from Kickboxing on Tuesday, and in fact, when I tried to hug my knees into my chest, my quads were screaming. Needless to say, I was very stiff during my practice, but I was able to stretch out as my body warmed up.
I learned a new pose today, it’s called the Tripod Headstand. Although I didn’t get to do the full version, just learning to balance the knees on the triceps are enough to challenge my edge.
Like always, I was very eager to learn more about the mechanics of this pose so I got Susanne to break it down for me after class. She made it look so easy I got home and I Googled it, of course… I learned that there was another way of getting into the pose, which was from the Standing Straddle Forward Bend with the head on the floor, which is how I normally get into my splits.
Susanne’s method was to start from Table Pose and then walk the hips up to Downdog position and then the spine and pelvis will stack itself. The toes will automatically start lift off the ground at this point and the knees can be supported by the triceps when this happens.
Positioning
Sorry, not the best picture found on the net, the spine should be properly aligned before this should happen, the toes should be pointed to engage the legs and core and the neck relaxed but supportive. There are quite a few things that are not right with this picture.
Getting into Tripod Headstand from straddled position
I was not able to lift my legs further because this was only my first day trying this pose, so my core will have to strengthen a lot more in order to lift the legs out to the sides, out 90 degrees or all the way up to the ceiling. Another area that needs to be strengthen is the neck, but actually the key is to proper align the cervical vertebraes of the neck which will help balance the pose. With all these being said, the most important thing to know about learning to get into poses like the headstands and the Crow, is to have a sense of humour. So every time I fall, I laugh 
I think the counter pose for this is Child’s Pose.
One thing that Susanne said in the class really struck me today. She said that often, we as a society focuses too much on “working out” and neglected to “work in” instead. I cannot agree more.
Meals
B: Coffee, oatmeal
L: TJ Fresh Noodle Salad, Organic banana
D: (Raw Food Potluck @ RSY) Zucchini Spaghetti with raw cheese and capers, raw chocolate raspberry pie, and lots of antioxidant juices!!!
Wednesday, August 29
Normally, I would go to my PowerFlex class on Wednesdays, but I had wanted to take Chuck’s class at Sattva for the longest time, and my body is very sore from Tuesday’s kickboxing class. I kept convincing myself the entire time that I’ll learn something new from Chuck’s class and it’s OK to switch things up a bit once in a while. With me being so muscularly sore, lifting weights will probably be “pain with no gain”. With the rate of my current level of understanding and penetration of my Yoga practice, I sweat bullets in the class, and I’m almost guaranteed to feel some sort of muscular pain the following day even without the use of weights. Plus, at this stage of my RYT program, I have to think of my approach to teaching, what better than to learn from a new teacher now?
Chuck’s class was very small, compared to Micha’s regular Thurs/Fri classes. Actually, I don’t mind a small class and in fact when I eventually teach, I’d prefer a small class as well. This will ensure that I can monitor the safety and awareness of each student in the class, especially when I’m just an amateur teacher.
I have to say that Chuck is a silent but serene teacher, and a very good “adjuster”. He definitely helped me get deeper into my poses and was very observant of what I was able to do. For example, the ever-challenging Crow Pose, which I was able to do for a spilt second in the class and Chuck actually saw me do it!! After the class, he told me what he saw and asked for my opinion of the class. I really liked it a lot and I think I’ll be back for more, so I am going to have to forgo my Wed PowerFlex class, along with Mon’s PowerFlex because I really like Micha’s class on Monday as well… decisions, decisions?!!?!
So when I got home, I tried getting into Crow’s Pose again. It felt like I must had been dreaming when I was able to do so in that split second, so I must try again to see if it was real. I’d like to say that I am not attached to a pose, but unfortunately, I am… but in a good way I think, I am analyzing the feeling and the mechanics of getting into the pose still at the moment, so I am obsessed. I know that I am afraid of simply getting into the pose because I have fear, fear of breaking my nose as I fall on the ground, and perhaps all sorts of fear in life. It’s funny how our approach to the asanas is reflective of our personalities in reality off the mat. So anyhow, I was able to do it again! Yippee…!! Except that this time, I think I understand why they said that you’ll work the core big time in this pose, because this time, I actually felt the burn in my upper abs for the again, spilt-second of being in this pose. WOW… that was like, intense and different at the same time! OK, I think it’s time for me to move on and revisit this pose again at a later date
Meals
B: Coffee, oatmeal
L: Organic mushroom soup, Organic spinach pie
S: Organic CLIF fruit bar
D: Organic linguine with mushroom and artichoke marinara sauce
Tuesday, August 28
Tuesday is my regular kickboxing class day, which is a very “active” exercise, hence I consider it to be my “Yang” practice of the day. So naturally, after shower and dinner, I proceeded with my “Yin” practice, and I was trying to find creative ways to prop myself for inversion poses, such as a headstand due to the lack of wall and floor space. After a few minutes of splits, cat-cow pose, child’s pose and cobra, I really wanted to get into an inversion, so I decided to use the couch for my headstand with feet in prayer position. I know that it sounds very mindboggling to picture a supported headstand, but it worked for me. All I had to remember was to maintain the awareness of my neck and spine, and to actively engage the arms, legs, and torso to protect the joints. I was quite content being in that position, actually.. LOL.
Andy caught be in this “compromising” position and he thought it looked like a “cobra”… so he said, can you do that “cobra” thingy again? I was a little puzzled at first, but I did it again to show him, and guess what? He attacked my belly!!! GGGRRRrrrrrrrrr!!! I almost broke my neck trying to fend him away, but I’ve learnt my lesson to never practice compromising poses when he’s around!
OMG!! I just found this cool animated site: http://www.abc-of-yoga.com/yogapractice/theheadstand.asp
Meal
B: Coffee, oatmeal
L: Lean Cuisine’s Ravioli
D: Organic Arugula and Baby Bella Mushroom salad
“The problem isn’t materialism as such. Rather it is the underlying assumption that full satisfaction can arise from gratifying the senses alone. Unlike animals whose quest for happiness is restricted to survival and to the immediate gratification of sensory desires, we human beings have the capacity to experience happiness at a deeper level which, when achieved, can overwhelm unhappy experiences.”
-His Holiness the Dalai Lama
I received this precious quote in my inbox today, as part of my subscription to Daily Buddhist Wisdom from Beliefnet.com. This quote is enough to remind me to rise above reacting instinctively to things in my life. I always remind others that we don’t have to follow the herd, because we are blessed with the ability to discern and discriminate as human beings. May this quote live in your heart as well. Namaste.
Monday, August 27
So I went to Micha’s class today, and it never fails that whenever I come out of her class, my soul feels completely rejuvenated and liberated. If I could remember how I felt when I was first born into this world, that would probably be how it must have felt. I always sweat like crazy in her classes and I have no clue as to why that happens. I could take a guess at it, perhaps by completely surrendering my thoughts (followed by my body) the sweat is perhaps a result of that cleansing process.
Micha really harps on keeping our eyes closed during the class, so that we can open up our souls and just tap into our inner most, rawest sense of being. I wouldn’t call it shutting our the consciousness to get let the unconscious out, although it does seem to do that, but the mind is very conscious of all the actions and thoughts that are provoked during the class. I’m totally addicted to the energy / aura that Micha projects during the class.
Yesterday, Chris Briney (one of our RYT teachers) had just gave us an assignment of teaching some basic poses for the first time, by only allowing us 3 to 5 key points to be communicated to the student. Now, when I go to my classes, I’m going to have to put on my teaching hat but it is really sad to not wear the student hat anymore, because it is only by experiencing that I will be able teach effectively, I think. Teaching from experience is definitely much more impact on the students than teaching from the text. Anyway, I’ve been thinking today that one day, I hope that I’ll possess some of Micha’s teaching qualities that brings so much sense of renewal to the students.
Meals
B: Coffee, oatmeal
L: TJ Fresh Noodle Salad, apple
D: Brocolli Kungpow Stirfry, rice
So I wasn’t able to go to the regular Friday classes at Sattva, and I went to Susanne’s class at 9 a.m. on Saturday at RSY. I think the class was labelled Gentle Yoga as a disguise. My practice on Saturday was greatly influenced by what I did or did not do during the days leading up to it, and because I didn’t do my regular 2 classes on Friday, I finally empathized what my friend meant when she said “Yoga Hell”… As much as I struggled on Saturday morning, nothing would prepare me for the kind of pain that I felt on Sunday morning. I felt that all the Yin energy was stored inside my joints and therefore I was less flexible and less aware of my body on Saturday morning. This should be a constant reminder as to why I should continue taking Micha’s Yin class on Friday
So on Sunday morning, I woke up to a terrible, nasty backache, and I knew that it wasn’t joint pain because I felt it on the muscular level. I’m thinking it could be the erector spinae because it even hurts when I sit. During the class we learned a modified Warrior I (Virabhadrasana I) on the PosturePro — with the back heel lifted and weight on the ball of the foot instead so that the pelvis can be levelled and squared to the front, and Pigeon with the usage of a wall for the back leg and lifts for the knees. Blocks were also utilized to prop the body up to achieve proper spinal relationship and elongation. As usual, when the poses are done on the PosturePro, it is 10 times as hard as not using it because we are able to get deeper into the pose while being supported — how ironic??? We also practiced Tree pose by proping the bent leg on the sling. This allowed us to square and level the pelvis to the front.
One thing that we learned to square and level the pelvis is to hold place hands on the pelvic bone and point the index finger to the front of the room. It works!!
Meals
(Saturday)
Brunch: Pancakes and maple syrup, Morningstar vegebacon
Lupper (Lunch + Supper): Vegetarian/tofu lettuce wrap, Vegetarian Ma Po Tofu, brown rice @ P.F. Chang’s
(Sunday)
B: Pancakes and maple syrup, Morningstar vegebacon
Snack: Cliff Bar (Apple Cranberry Cherry), watermelon, honeydew
D: Organic linguine and mushroom arthicoke marinara sauce
Snack: Organic banana
Hadn’t gotten to blogging for the past few days, because we had lost power on Monday and Wednesday here, so every time I had wanted to blog, I wasn’t able to. Anyway, here are my notes from the past few days. They are short, but I guess it’s good because my sister said i’m too long-winded..LOL!!!
I went to Micha’s class on Monday, but Shawn had taught for her because of family emergencies. It was kinda cool on Monday so Shawn had turned up the temperature for the class to about 84 degrees. Within minutes we were sweating like crazy in the class, and this is when I really knew what “tapas” (Sanskrit; a self-discipline or austerity willingly expended both in restraining physical urges and in actively pursuing a higher purpose in life). I can’t say that I like the excess heat in the room during the class or not, I think I understood the purpose, but the heat was giving me difficulty in breathing due to the dry air that blew out from the vents.
On Tuesday we went to Kickboxing class, so when I got home to do some basic restorative poses and stretches. On Wednesday, I went to my PowerFlex class and ran before then. It wasn’t long after we had our dinner when the power went out for half of the apartment complex. We went to bed early that day.
On Thursday I went to the free yoga class again, but I found that the class was taught better this time, maybe because there were no late comers, so I think the teachers were able to concentrate better on the class. I still feel that the teachers could have given more detailed instructions so that the new student would be less confused.
I wasn’t able to go to Micha’s class on Friday because I had to go for dinner with my old pals from Wayne State and the appointment has been long overdue. I felt really tired all of a sudden so I practiced pranyama instead. I felt very relaxed from the deep abdominal breathing and that was ready to put me to sleep ….
Meals
(Monday)
B: Coffee, granola bar
L: TJ Fresh Noodle Salad
D: Falafel shawarma, iced blueberry white tea
(Tuesday)
B: Milo, granola bar
L: TJ Fresh Noodle Salad
D: Chilli’s black bean burger, fries, blackberry ice tea
(Wednesday)
B: Coffee, granola bar
L: Shells and cheese pasta
D: Vegetable barley soup, smoked Gouda cheese, water crackers, leftover hummous, pita
(Thursday)
B: Coffee, granola bar
L: Shells and cheese pasta
S: Danish, blueberry muffin, grapes
D: Egg noodle pasta with artichokes and vege beef crumbles
(Friday)
B: Coffee, granola bar
L: Greek salad sandwich, iced green tea @ Panera
D: Grilled eggplant, rice, coconut ice-cream, banana wonton @ Annam’s
