I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. So we did find a place to rent across the border in Windsor, but the escalating cost of living and moving is wrecking my nerves. I hadn’t been able to save any money this year due to our wedding in Malaysia back in May, and recently the emergency trip back for my grandma’s funeral. I try not to fret about money, because I truly belief that we will be provided for and will be sufficient if we just LET GO and do what is appropriate at the time and place that we happen to be. The struggle between wanting to trust that instinct and giving in to the paranoia of not being able to survive in the future is driving me lifeless and incapacitated to be at my best.

I’m supposed to be going to Micha’s class today (Friday) since I had to skip yesterday’s class to go house hunting South of the border (or North depending on where you’re coming from in Michigan). Not going to class makes me feel ultra-guilty, but at the same time, the body is unwilling. The soul is depleting with depression, and the body is sluggish and uninspired. I don’t know why I had lost trust in myself and in everything that I do, especially with the practice of yoga. Yoga used to be my salvation, but lately I that my heart is boxed and shut tightly from being in the light of yoga.

I don’t know what else to do other than ride it out and deal with my current stress of moving/relocating and catching up with the course. Hopefully, when all is settled I can concentrate on my practice again.